Whether it is the food of the gods, an active aphrodisiac, a sinister plot of the devil to keep us caught in desire, or simply a wonderful part of life, the fact is that the majority of people on this planet have found the consumption of chocolate to be one of the most pleasurable discoveries since sex.
My personal relationship with chocolate started at an early age. I remember, as a baby, getting fed up with the same old breast or bottle day in and day out. If my mother had only known how much I craved a good warmed pint of chocolate milk she would have enjoyed many more restful nights and a less cranky babe during the day.
I didn't have to wait long, however. Before I knew it kindergarten had arrived. Cartons of chocolate milk every day. I think I even traded a few sandwiches and carrot sticks for other kids' cartons. If I'd known, at that age, what playing hooky was, I probably would have skipped out at recess and rode my bike (with training wheels) down to the local market and begged shoppers to give me money so I could buy some chocolate milk.
The desire for chocolate increased as I aged. If my parents had allowed it, I would have had something chocolate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
By the time I turned twelve I was so desperate for the sweet substance that I committed a heinous crime. With a ton of guilt and desperation, I went to the store with a friend and stole some chocolate bars.
We were obviously not cut out for a life of crime. Not only did the chocolate bars my friend and I had snitched turn out to be “for baking only,” making us spit out the first big juicy bite, but someone had seen us inside taking them and told the owner, who discovered us cringing out back with the bitter goods drooling down our faces. He made us go tell our parents and bring back the money we owed. I had never been so embarrassed in my life and have never stolen anything since that day, let alone chocolate.
My adult years have been pleasantly inundated with dark brown smooth chocolate in every known form, especially ice cream and smoothies. My obsession, which I have no desire or need to change, has become an integral part of my life. Luckily, I found a partner/mate/wife/friend who also enjoys the sensual benefits of chocolate. I can't imagine our relationship